My story by Lauri Speairs
What I am about to share is bizarre and may shock some. It deals with my involvement in Satanism and the occult and, as unbelievable as it may sound, it is all true.
My forced involvement in the dark side began when I was a baby, so I knew no other way of life. The message that I want to convey here is that deliverance from such horrible evil is possible through the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ only.
The process of tearing down Satan’s strongholds isn’t easy, but the power of the Lord Jesus Christ is far greater than any other power in the universe.
My roots in witchcraft go back to my grandmother's ancestors who practiced the craft before they came from Germany to Pennsylvania in the late 1600s.
When I was two years old, I was dedicated to Satan and baptized. At age four, I received a spirit guide who promised to help and protect me.
Sexual and ritual abuse continued throughout my childhood. To deal with the trauma, I developed multiple personality disorder (MPD). I didn’t become aware of this disorder until many years later, in 1995.
Growing up in Satanism exposed me to many strange practices. For example, when I was nine, I had to attend my grandmother’s funeral. I was made to lean over the casket and kiss her in order to receive a so-called “blessing.” This is a method of passing on evil ancestral spirits from one relative to another.
In 1965, when I was 14, my spirit guide told me to recruit 13 friends to form a covert group. On Halloween night, it came about. Halloween is an especially important holiday in Satanism and witchcraft.
The group was active for a year and performed animal sacrifices and other satanic rituals and ceremonies.
On December 24, 1966, at the age of 15, I was recruited into an underground satanic cult. My initiation was on my 16th birthday, and was combined with a ritual satanic marriage to the high priest. He was murdered in 1968.
After his death, I was able to keep up a facade of a normal life and was even active in a church.
I had a daughter born in 1970 whom I later enrolled in a church program called Awana. I believe the Lord was beginning to lead me away from Satanism by my keeping her away from it. I feared what the cult might do to her.
Satan and my spirit guide had me totally convinced that I was beyond the Lord’s help.
It is a common but false belief that once into Satanism, God will no longer save you.
On my 23rd birthday, I became International High Priestess of the cult, a very powerful position. Only much later would I learn just how addicted to the power I really was.
In 1975, I remarried and, in 1980, moved to Florida in. My husband never knew of my cult activities.
We divorced in January of 1982 and I began looking for different work. After answering a classified ad for a nurse’s aid, I went to work for a quadriplegic named Tom.
The following November, he proposed and we were married in March, 1983. Tom also adopted my daughter at that time.
SAVED IN 1983
Tom and I had joined and become active in a local Bible teaching church and had both received the Lord as Savior, although I was still in the grip of the addiction to power, similar to the grip of more common addictions like drugs or alcohol.
I was swayed largely by Ephesians 2:8-9, since that made it clear that salvation is by God’s grace alone, and not by works.
Even after accepting Christ, I hadn’t yet realized how many strongholds from the past I would eventually have to deal with. I sang in the choir, taught Sunday School and was secretary of the Nominating and Review Committee. Tom served as a trustee and a deacon.
I want to emphasize here that Tom was still totally unaware of my cult activity.
Over this period of time, bizarre memories began to surface. I thought they were just dreams. In late 1993, I started into Christian counseling.
Early on it was decided that I should be tested for demons. After many months of twice-a-week sessions, many evil spirits had been dealt with and renounced.
Three days after that, I received a written death threat from the cult. Not knowing how to deal with this situation, my counselor sought assistance from a Center for Biblical Counseling.
This led to a pastor with considerable experience in dealing with people coming out of Satanism. He recommended I be tested for multiple personality disorder. I tested positive and immediately entered into specific counseling for that.
At this time allow me to discuss multiple personality disorder, or “MPD.”
Dr. Terri Clark, a Christian psychiatrist, says in her book, More Than One, that “the classic case of multiple personality disorder starts with a child being physically and often sexually abused at the age of two or three or before.
The child cannot stop the torture, and there is no rescuer in the wings to save the toddler from the trauma. Because the child is so young, she is not able to verbalize what is happening. She certainly is not big enough to fight back physically.
The only safe place to go is to take refuge in her mind. A child, who is bright and creative and wants to stay alive, ‘pretends’ herself away and ‘invents’ another personality to take the pain.”
The goal of treating my MPD was to combine each personality with my birth
personality, a process called integration.
During my sessions, I was to learn that my first alternate personality was created when I was a baby. When I was two, a personality was formed to handle the satanic baptism.
This ability became an automatic, but totally subconscious, way for me to cope with the traumatic situations that continued.
Some effects of these personalities switching in would be my not being able to account for periods of time or my finding clothes in the closet that I didn’t remember buying.
People I didn’t know would come up to me and start talking to me like I was an old friend. One of my personalities got some tattoos.
Expressing emotions was difficult since the personalities had been created to handle sorrow, hurt, love, and emotions that people learn while growing up.
My husband originally accepted my idiosyncrasies as just being me. Some of the angry personalities hated him and wanted him out of the picture, while others liked him. Our overall stress level was high, especially when personalities would manifest, such as young ones throwing tantrums.
After my MPD was diagnosed and we were well into the integration process, Tom spoke with and came to know several of them.
When progress bogged down, I began to seriously seek the Lord’s wisdom as to how to deal with these personalities between sessions. I prayed with them, read to them from the Bible, witnessed to them and told them how much Jesus loved them.
This level of submission to the Lord and my now total renouncement of Satan led to much quicker integrations.
All of my personalities personally received the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior and took back ground from the enemy before being integrated.
Conventional secular methods of integration would probably have taken well over ten years, but I thank the Lord for His power and authority over the enemy, as He accomplished this work in me in a fraction of that time.
I had hundreds of personalities, some of whom were “normal” alters to cope with abuse, while others were created and programmed by the cult. Some tried to convince me that I was crazy and a burden to my family and friends and that I should be put away or kill myself.
As a result of these integrations, I felt a mixture of relief, sadness, and emptiness but was left with the really big question, “Who am I now?”
Although I had received Jesus Christ as my Savior in 1983, I couldn’t pinpoint the date. Satan had been telling me that I wasn’t really saved. On March 19, 1995, I recommitted my life to the Lord and was baptized a week later.
All this has motivated me to seek a ministry of reaching out to help others coming out of Satanism, witchcraft, or other occult areas as the Lord sees fit. That ministry has included a support group meeting in our home.
I want to encourage those in any kind of bondage, whether it be drugs, alcohol, pornography, Satanism, witchcraft or any other type, that Jesus Christ is able to rescue you.
The power of God’s Word sustained me through many battles with the enemy. The Psalms were particularly encouraging and comforting to me, especially Psalms 51 and 91.
I urge people to avoid any involvement with seemingly innocent things such as Ouija boards, horoscopes, yoga, and Dungeons and Dragons type games, etc. Watch out for New Age things like crystals, pyramids, music, books, and good luck charms.
God’s opinion of these things is in Deuteronomy 18, verses 10 through 13. People who have ever dabbled in any of these things have left the door open for Satan’s oppression.
I want to emphasize that it’s never too late to repent and pray a prayer of renunciation if you’ve been involved with any of these, or even if you suspect you have.
I pray that my sharing this testimony will make you more aware of Satan’s plan against us, and that the only defense we have against it is the power we have in the name and shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is completely able and willing to rescue anyone who will allow Him to do so, and I’m living proof of it!
