My Personal Christian Blog

Thanks for sliding into my blog site. This blog bog is a spin-off from my website at Call me a Night Owl, as my full-time mission and hobby are jabbering from midnight until 8 a.m.ish with chatter bugs across the world. Hoot, hoot! Being a retired newspaper guy and a Curious George, I've written and assembled a whack of stuff that I hope you'll find interesting and thought-provoking. Check out the Stories bar on the right side, below, for all my articles - from my web site and this blog.

April 27, 2012

Why does God allow for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and how does it work?

By NiteOwlDave

Explaining Multiple Personality Disorder to someone can be a very difficult challenge. Why are there many personalities – or alters - in one body? How do they communicate? What is integration? Here is a skeletal explanation. Warning. There are trigger words.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which is the same as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), is a coping mechanism that children - generally under the age of six – are given to deal with extreme trauma such as repeated sexual abuse.

DID is of God. It is not Satan spawn although demons can attach to an abuse survivor under certain circumstances. We will not address Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) here. See

Very few will let anyone know they have DID. They feel others will judge them as being crazy. They are not cracked in the head. They are survivors.

A person with DID has one soul and a system of split mental parts called alters. God will integrate the personalities if He is asked to by the main one known as the host or core. It often takes months, even years, of trusted counsel before the personalities will be ready to merge. A person may have hundreds of alters.

The alters take the abuse and other stressful situations, and they keep the hurtful memories from the host person. The personalities refer to themselves as alters, insiders, friends, or others.

Dissociation is a process in which the host person mentally leaves a hurtful or stressful situation and takes on a new personality. The host will switch with one created part to deal with stress, anger, or harm. The one who leaves goes to an “inside” safe place in the mind.

If God hadn’t created this ability to switch, a child would likely commit suicide or wind up in a mental institution. DID allows an escape route for a person to retain their sanity. Without it, their mind would blow.

Someone with DID will make an automatic personality switch whenever there is real or perceived danger to the body. The danger is dealt with by tougher personalities, called protectors, who take on that role. Protectors are usually immune from triggers and don’t hesitate to lash out. During happy times, the young alters will be allowed to switch and come out to play, like color. For more about triggers, see below.

Alters come in all ages, male and female, and each has his own personality and abilities. Because of the memories they hold, they are a mix of protectors, scared young ones known as littles, and older ones.


Being “triggered” is especially hard on an alter. A trigger is a word, visual image, sound, smell, touch, and taste that is linked to a horrible memory of past hurt. As a child, if a survivor is repeatedly taken to a basement and abused, the word basement will likely become a trigger to one alter or the entire system. When they hear that word – even 40 years later – a survivor with DID will flash back and relive the details of that horror. They will emerge from the flashback shaken.


Those with DID generally get very little sleep because of vivid nightmares of past abuse. Some gouge themselves. Many survivors sleep in a chair or a sofa. They find it impossible to sleep in a bed because it has a bad memory.


Because of self-imposed guilt, alters and the host body usually self-injure (SI) as in cut, burn or smash the body. Under Satanic Ritual Abuse, a demon – using an alter whom it controls - can harm the body as well. As mentioned above, we will not discuss SRA here.

An abuse survivor with DID self harms because she/he has been told they are bad, even though they are not at fault. A survivor cuts and burns to let the bad out and/or to “feel.” Childhood abuse makes them zombies. Their emotions shutdown and they are unable to cry or laugh. Despite the pain, SI becomes the only way they can feel anything.

We must remember that DID self harm is not, by itself, a demon thing; it is a coping mechanism.


Alters have their own names, ages, memories, abilities, interests, and other identifying features. Some age, some don’t. Some are left landed, some are right handed. Some may smoke. Some may stutter, wear makeup, and dress differently. When the host body or an alter who is out get stressed or triggered, they will rock which they find soothing.


A psychiatrist familiar with DID will tell us the brain of a young child is forming neural pathways, setting up long-standing habits, personality traits and mapping a great deal of information for life-long use. When there is severe trauma, things get messed up.

As they grow older, an abused child may continue to create new alters to deal with added stressful situations, loneliness, fear, and other obstacles in their life.


Total integration is when all the alters agree to merge into one, the host body. To be correctly healed by God, integration should take place after the host has learned and dealt with the details of his/her past abuse as revealed by the alters, and God. Even with a gifted therapist, this process can take years.

It helps the host become a more grounded Christian if all the alters are saved when they integrate. The personalities have to agree with the salvation beliefs of the other saved ones in the system.


Let me restate that alters are created to help the host body deal with trauma during childhood and later years. One might wonder how all those alter personalities crammed into one brain allows a person to function, how they communicate with each other and how they interact with "normal" people in the outside world.

One website writer suggests we view alter world from the perspective of a modern day office setting, complete with cubicles.

In an imaginary office, the external world is the waiting room. The internal world starts behind the window at the receptionist's area. One could walk up to the window and interact with whomever is in that area at the time.

The alter who is present in the receptionist area would be in control of the body, aware of the external environment, and would be referred to as the alter who is "out" or "up front." Usually, an alter who is out is able to talk or hear the alters who are not out.

In real life, there can be more than one person in the receptionist's area, and the same is true in our metaphor. If a personality gets threatened, confused, or stressed, the personalities will switch. A person with DID will tell you if there is too much switching, or if it is done too rapidly, the body will wind up with a throbbing headache.


Multiples have inside safe places, like a inside house, woods or cave created where the individual alters can retreat. Feeling safe is of paramount importance to an abuse survivor with DID. The inside place will usually have rooms or layers where alters live.

If a system has no safe place, a therapist or knowledgeable friend should as God to establish one and direct the alters to live together. In this safe place, the alters will bunch together by commonality such as age or by degrees of past harm.


Protector alters are vital in keeping a DID system safe and functioning well. Like an office, there are the bosses in the multiple world. Protectors are assertive and seldom trigger.

They direct alters in and out, help create new alters, and try to help the body sleep. They are inside safe cops.


Here, with no detailed explanation, is a general overview of someone with DID traits –

1. They say "sorry" often.
2. The majority of the alters will not wear a dress.
3. They hate mirrors and photos of themselves.
4. One or two “girlie” alters do wear makeup.
5. There is always one insider who likes sex. Others hate it.
6. When they sit, they often rock in their chair or swing a foot.
7. When stressed, the host body or an alter may sit on the floor and rock.
8. They may chew or poke holes in their cuffs.
9. A dramatic mood swing, audibly and/or physically, is seen if a tough protector takes over to defend the system.
10. They never feel clean.
11. They shower but most never bath. They see bathing as too risky.
12. Usually, at least one insider deals with Manic Compulsive Disorder which means they are obsessed with cleanliness, or repetitive things like flipping a light off and on a certain number of times when they enter or leave a room.
13. They self-injure (SI).
14. They HATE to be touched or hugged except perhaps by someone whom they trusted. It can take a long time to establish trust.
15. They have a problem accepting compliments or gifts because they feel they will owe something such as a sexual payment.
16.They hate the “love” word. In their past, it was likely used as a trick word.
17. They often sleep in a chair, or hidden in a closet or under a bed.
18. When scared, they will switch or hide, rock and often hum.
19. Many alters find comfort with their "blankie" and "stuffy.”
20. They are always tired because they have vivid nightmares.
21. Acquaintances may notice they talk to themselves, when it really is one alter talking to another.
22. They might have a drug or drinking habit because they were forced to take them by abusers.
23. Because of switching, the host often loses time of hours or days.
24. Alters change clothes a lot because of the different tastes.
25. A system is often composed of Christian alters and non believers.
26. Alters are created male and female.


The Bible does not clearly address the subject of Dissociate Identity Disorder. It hardly says a thing about the unborn and children going
to Heaven, either. We presume they do.

An alternate personality is a split part of the soul. It has a mind, will, and emotions. We believe in our minds and hearts. The heart is the deep part of the soul. Therefore, the host body, and alter personalities can be saved.


A question often raised amongst those who work with those with multiple personalities is; must the host person and all the alter personalities be saved for “them” to go to Heaven upon death (or the Rapture?)

A spokesperson with Haven of Hope, a non-profit ministry since 1995 with much experience of working with DID and SRA survivors, says, “The answer to that question is not easy. God has established the rules."

God's word, the Bible, says that all who believe in Jesus Christ - trust in, rely upon what He did on the cross-for their salvation. I have never known of a healed system where the host person and the alters did not accept Jesus Christ as Savior.


There are a several Bible passages that could refer to DID (and Satanic Ritual Abuse).

Isaiah 61: 1 says, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening to them that are bound…”

Psalm 147:3 says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Heals means mends or repairs. Brokenhearted means hurt or crushed into PIECES. Wounds mean sorrows.

Psalm 86:11 says, "Teach me Your way, O Lord; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name." Unite means make one or join.

In the Hebrew language, the word “heart” is sometimes used interchangeably with “soul,” which includes mind, will, and emotions.

Thus, one kind of broken-heartedness is someone whose soul has been shattered by deliberate trauma. The modern concept of a “shattered mind” is also a good description of DID.

Other Scripture passages possibly refer to DID. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus instructed us to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with our entire mind.

In Ezekiel 34:4, the “binding up” refers to binding wounds and bringing comfort to the distressed. The brokenhearted could be seen as those “shattered” in heart.

It is a struggle to love God fully when one’s soul is shattered into many pieces. It is comforting to know that God will make repairs if a multiple will seek Him and a Christian counselor who understands for help.

A final thought: Let me suggest it is of great value to involve the Lord Jesus Christ in helping those with DID to heal and integrate. This applies more so when dealing with healing from satanic ritual abuse.

April 6, 2012


My story by Lauri Speairs

What I am about to share is bizarre and may shock some. It deals with my involvement in Satanism and the occult and, as unbelievable as it may sound, it is all true.

My forced involvement in the dark side began when I was a baby, so I knew no other way of life. The message that I want to convey here is that deliverance from such horrible evil is possible through the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ only.

The process of tearing down Satan’s strongholds isn’t easy, but the power of the Lord Jesus Christ is far greater than any other power in the universe.

My roots in witchcraft go back to my grandmother's ancestors who practiced the craft before they came from Germany to Pennsylvania in the late 1600s.

When I was two years old, I was dedicated to Satan and baptized. At age four, I received a spirit guide who promised to help and protect me.

Sexual and ritual abuse continued throughout my childhood. To deal with the trauma, I developed multiple personality disorder (MPD). I didn’t become aware of this disorder until many years later, in 1995.

Growing up in Satanism exposed me to many strange practices. For example, when I was nine, I had to attend my grandmother’s funeral. I was made to lean over the casket and kiss her in order to receive a so-called “blessing.” This is a method of passing on evil ancestral spirits from one relative to another.

In 1965, when I was 14, my spirit guide told me to recruit 13 friends to form a covert group. On Halloween night, it came about. Halloween is an especially important holiday in Satanism and witchcraft.

The group was active for a year and performed animal sacrifices and other satanic rituals and ceremonies.

On December 24, 1966, at the age of 15, I was recruited into an underground satanic cult. My initiation was on my 16th birthday, and was combined with a ritual satanic marriage to the high priest. He was murdered in 1968.

After his death, I was able to keep up a facade of a normal life and was even active in a church.

I had a daughter born in 1970 whom I later enrolled in a church program called Awana. I believe the Lord was beginning to lead me away from Satanism by my keeping her away from it. I feared what the cult might do to her.

Satan and my spirit guide had me totally convinced that I was beyond the Lord’s help.

It is a common but false belief that once into Satanism, God will no longer save you.

On my 23rd birthday, I became International High Priestess of the cult, a very powerful position. Only much later would I learn just how addicted to the power I really was.

In 1975, I remarried and, in 1980, moved to Florida in. My husband never knew of my cult activities.

We divorced in January of 1982 and I began looking for different work. After answering a classified ad for a nurse’s aid, I went to work for a quadriplegic named Tom.

The following November, he proposed and we were married in March, 1983. Tom also adopted my daughter at that time.

Tom and I had joined and become active in a local Bible teaching church and had both received the Lord as Savior, although I was still in the grip of the addiction to power, similar to the grip of more common addictions like drugs or alcohol.

I was swayed largely by Ephesians 2:8-9, since that made it clear that salvation is by God’s grace alone, and not by works.

Even after accepting Christ, I hadn’t yet realized how many strongholds from the past I would eventually have to deal with. I sang in the choir, taught Sunday School and was secretary of the Nominating and Review Committee. Tom served as a trustee and a deacon.

I want to emphasize here that Tom was still totally unaware of my cult activity.

Over this period of time, bizarre memories began to surface. I thought they were just dreams. In late 1993, I started into Christian counseling.

Early on it was decided that I should be tested for demons. After many months of twice-a-week sessions, many evil spirits had been dealt with and renounced.

Three days after that, I received a written death threat from the cult. Not knowing how to deal with this situation, my counselor sought assistance from a Center for Biblical Counseling.

This led to a pastor with considerable experience in dealing with people coming out of Satanism. He recommended I be tested for multiple personality disorder. I tested positive and immediately entered into specific counseling for that.

At this time allow me to discuss multiple personality disorder, or “MPD.”

Dr. Terri Clark, a Christian psychiatrist, says in her book, More Than One, that “the classic case of multiple personality disorder starts with a child being physically and often sexually abused at the age of two or three or before.

The child cannot stop the torture, and there is no rescuer in the wings to save the toddler from the trauma. Because the child is so young, she is not able to verbalize what is happening. She certainly is not big enough to fight back physically.

The only safe place to go is to take refuge in her mind. A child, who is bright and creative and wants to stay alive, ‘pretends’ herself away and ‘invents’ another personality to take the pain.”

The goal of treating my MPD was to combine each personality with my birth
personality, a process called integration.

During my sessions, I was to learn that my first alternate personality was created when I was a baby. When I was two, a personality was formed to handle the satanic baptism.

This ability became an automatic, but totally subconscious, way for me to cope with the traumatic situations that continued.

Some effects of these personalities switching in would be my not being able to account for periods of time or my finding clothes in the closet that I didn’t remember buying.

People I didn’t know would come up to me and start talking to me like I was an old friend. One of my personalities got some tattoos.

Expressing emotions was difficult since the personalities had been created to handle sorrow, hurt, love, and emotions that people learn while growing up.

My husband originally accepted my idiosyncrasies as just being me. Some of the angry personalities hated him and wanted him out of the picture, while others liked him. Our overall stress level was high, especially when personalities would manifest, such as young ones throwing tantrums.

After my MPD was diagnosed and we were well into the integration process, Tom spoke with and came to know several of them.

When progress bogged down, I began to seriously seek the Lord’s wisdom as to how to deal with these personalities between sessions. I prayed with them, read to them from the Bible, witnessed to them and told them how much Jesus loved them.

This level of submission to the Lord and my now total renouncement of Satan led to much quicker integrations.

All of my personalities personally received the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior and took back ground from the enemy before being integrated.

Conventional secular methods of integration would probably have taken well over ten years, but I thank the Lord for His power and authority over the enemy, as He accomplished this work in me in a fraction of that time.

I had hundreds of personalities, some of whom were “normal” alters to cope with abuse, while others were created and programmed by the cult. Some tried to convince me that I was crazy and a burden to my family and friends and that I should be put away or kill myself.

As a result of these integrations, I felt a mixture of relief, sadness, and emptiness but was left with the really big question, “Who am I now?”

Although I had received Jesus Christ as my Savior in 1983, I couldn’t pinpoint the date. Satan had been telling me that I wasn’t really saved. On March 19, 1995, I recommitted my life to the Lord and was baptized a week later.

All this has motivated me to seek a ministry of reaching out to help others coming out of Satanism, witchcraft, or other occult areas as the Lord sees fit. That ministry has included a support group meeting in our home.

I want to encourage those in any kind of bondage, whether it be drugs, alcohol, pornography, Satanism, witchcraft or any other type, that Jesus Christ is able to rescue you.

The power of God’s Word sustained me through many battles with the enemy. The Psalms were particularly encouraging and comforting to me, especially Psalms 51 and 91.

I urge people to avoid any involvement with seemingly innocent things such as Ouija boards, horoscopes, yoga, and Dungeons and Dragons type games, etc. Watch out for New Age things like crystals, pyramids, music, books, and good luck charms.

God’s opinion of these things is in Deuteronomy 18, verses 10 through 13. People who have ever dabbled in any of these things have left the door open for Satan’s oppression.

I want to emphasize that it’s never too late to repent and pray a prayer of renunciation if you’ve been involved with any of these, or even if you suspect you have.

I pray that my sharing this testimony will make you more aware of Satan’s plan against us, and that the only defense we have against it is the power we have in the name and shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ is completely able and willing to rescue anyone who will allow Him to do so, and I’m living proof of it!